Mirror, Mirror on The Wall, I Am Enough!

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind." William James, US Psychologist

One of the things you learn as a practicing therapist is that deep down, most people want the same things. They want love, in the form of affirming relationships. They want security, usually in the form of money and social ties. And they desire success, or the feeling that they’ve made a contribution and accomplished something. But alongside that, you learn something else: that even though most people want these things, they often act in a way that runs counter to attaining them. *

Remember being a baby?

An idyllic time when we dictated the world.

Babies have something we often lose as we age: the birthright of confidence. The disconnection can come from parental estrangement, being bullied, having a disability or never feeling that you were safe. It can manifest as a fear of intimacy, an inflated ego, or an addiction to eating, alcohol or drugs. Indeed, it doesn't matter where the rejection or lack of connection comes from, it almost always leads to a person who feels as though certain things in life will never be available to them. Many modern-day ailments are a function of humans trying to fill the resulting emptiness or gap that they feel.

The truth is that the human mind has one simple job: to keep you alive as long as possible. To do that, our mind is an expert at helping us avoid and flee what causes us pain or danger. Often, when we look at successful people, we assume they have a whole raft of superior abilities and privileges that aren’t attainable for us. The truth is they don’t. They’ve just learned how to make their mind work for them, rather than against them. We always have a choice: You can choose to be negative, use negative language and feel lousy because of it or you can choose to be positive, use positive language and notice your life gets better. You don't need to do years of therapy to get it back. You simply need to take responsibility for the words and pictures in your head. Once you do, your life will never be the same.

Everything you've feel is the result of just two things:

1. The pictures you make in your head.

2. The words you say to yourself.

Remember that words are powerful, and your mind is always listening. Every word you say becomes a blueprint that your mind and body work to meet and turn into your reality. The strongest force in you is that you must act in a way that consistently matches your thinking.

What most people don't understand is that you have full power and control to choose better words and pictures—not just sometimes but all the time. This is what very successful people naturally do because they already understand that we have the power to create those words and pictures.

Lie to your mind, cheat fear, and steal back the phenomenal confidence you were born with.

As adults, a stunning number of people go searching for love and acceptance in a mindset of “Please love me,” instead of an unshakeable belief of “I’m loveable.” You may have felt you had no choice but to play a certain role as a child but as an adult, you are free now to give up that part and play the part of a loved and loveable adult instead.

"I'm here to teach you the easy but effective methods that will lead you to this “I am enough” life. It's not magic, but it will have a magical effect on your life." Marisa Peer, founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy.

One of my "I am enough" rituals is mirror work. The truth is, nothing boosts your self-esteem and builds you up like praise does. Most people think that praise has to come from external forces, but that’s where they are wrong. Praising yourself holds tremendous power that the world’s most successful people all employ as a tool. It is one of the fastest ways to increase your self esteem.

I personally have used mirror work to give myself love and feel loveable when I needed it. Instead of expecting the validation to come from an external partner, I am my best partner. I look at myself in the mirror and mouth "I love you" over and over again, smiling at my own reflection. I feel connected with myself and in my mind's eye, I see and feel my inner child. We are connected, we are enough. Connecting with my reflection is a test on how comfortable i feel in my own skin. It is a spiritual check in. When is the last time you asked yourself: "Am I happy? What do I want? Who am I?" In the mirror the answers stare me back. The mirror will inspire a mantra, my reflection mouths it back: "I love you to the moon and back."

*Summarized from I am Enough by Marisa Peer