What do I do when I am feeling insecure, anxious or filled with self-doubt? This happens to all of us throughout our lives. Even people who seem confident from the outside will be at times insecure and scared. When you realize that you are not alone to struggle with self doubt and judgement, then you are likely to beat yourself up about less!
~~ Recognize your feelings: Acknowledge and name your emotions without judgment. ~~ Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, as you would a friend. Create a safe space within yourself to feel your feelings and not vilify yourself.
~~ Challenge negative thoughts: Question the validity of your self-doubts and look for evidence to the contrary. Make sure that you don't adopt a victim mindset when dealing with disappointment, remember that this is just one step in the road and it shall pass in time.
~~ Use positive affirmations: Your current feelings of self doubt do not have to define you. Repeat encouraging statements to boost self-confidence that are the positive opposites of your negative thoughts.
What does my day look like / how do I manage my time?
~~ Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. Be ruthless with the demands on your time and invest yourself where you get the most joy or at a minimum allocate time daily for mental health space to take stock. If you have people pleasing tendencies, this is especially important. Make space to listen to your inside voice be it in nature, sport or a hobby for your inner child.
~~ Part of your day, maybe 4 hours should be dedicated to deep work so that you have time for everything else as well as to recharge and have some time to yourself - that is the greatest privilege to me.
How did I learn to stop beating myself up and really let go of perfectionism? ~~ When you realize that there is no such thing as perfection, that it actually doesn't exist, it automatically becomes an impossible concept. If you aspire to it you will be in a constant state of lack. Perfection is insanity in a sense. It paralyzes your deepest desires, when life is all about experimentation and change. Positively charged action is the one sure way to advance in whatever direction you want.
~~ Taking even small action directs our energy in a committed way and finds the next step in the path. No matter what happens, the information you get from acting is the single most important ingredient to finding what is right for you. It is important to move energy and prevent it from stagnating in a negative state too long. If something scares you, try to do it early in the day, preferably first thing when waking up to get it out of the way and avoid dreading it all day. You will also feel the benefit of the accomplishment all day and the associated boost of confidence and momentum.
~~ Talking to other people and reading about the lives of people who history has commemorated, is incredibly validating. Especially if you are an entrepreneur, having mentors and guides will be life changing. Our network is everything ultimately, it should be cultivated. Once we start asking questions we will notice that most paths are not linear but circular. It is the incremental learning and associated mastery that will bring us the greatest sense of accomplishment with time.
How do I convince myself that enough is enough when, by nature, I am programmed to do more, more, more?
~~ Our real happiness is measure by the state of our nervous system. If we are resilient, we go through life riding the wave instead of resisting it. If you feel like you are doing too much, then take stock of what brings you joy and focus on that. Saying No is an important way to discover who we really are. It is important to be around people who honor your boundaries and support your dreams. Still, no one should be a greater cheerleader to you than you!
~~ You have to believe that your are enough, exactly as you are. It is something to work on because we all occasionally feel like we are not enough in particular aspects of our lives, but it can not become the dominant soundtrack of your day. If you feel like you have something to prove, then that's the wrong reason to do things maybe you should not be doing in the first place. It is important to have a ritual that focuses on what you have and what you deserve. For me having peace of mind is paramount so I try to focus and adapt my pace of life to that goal. It is something that I am still working on as a recovering doer of more more more.
Coaching confidence is my favorite, the sense of accomplishment you and I both will feel after the 30 Day Confidence Boost 1:1 time together will be unparalleled, and ready to propel you to your dream 2025. Let me show you what that looks like. Book a 30min free consultation with me and lets make the scarcity mindset a distant memory.
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